-by Denise Kaye

When the time comes for an older adult to need daily living assistance, understanding the type of care your parents want and what options are available is an important conversation to have. Throughout my years in the homecare industry, I find that often times adult children are scrambling to find care and resources for their parents when an emergency or immediate need situation arises because they never had the proactive conversation with their parents about their wishes.

For starters, finding out what someone can afford and/or if they have a Long-Term Care Insurance Policy can be uncomfortable for the adult children to inquire with parents about. When is a good time to have this type of conversation with your parents? I suggest having this conversation when your parents are coming close to retirement. If your parents have already retired, a good methodology to start the conversation is to perhaps make it about yourself… share with your parents your plans that you are putting into action such as creating and reviewing your living will, advanced directives, the power of attorney if you are unable to make your own decisions, and perhaps when you plan to sit down with your own children to review these aspects.

According to Carol Bradley Bursack from AgingCare.com, she suggests reading two books, “Creating the Good Will,” by attorney Elizabeth Arnold which emphasizes legacy. This book guides many families through the process of end-of-life legal work and details. The book is worth reading if you are having any difficulty in deciding how to broach the end-of-life talk, no matter what your age or state of health. The other book she recommends is “The Parent Care Conversation,” by Dan Taylor. This book is also about legacy and has more information about planning how parent(s) wants to be cared for. It covers legal work and details as well. Both books offer a good perception and are valuable reads.

Few of us like to consider the fact that our parents will need care in their older adulthood, and do not like to realize the fact that one day they will pass away. However, they will and nothing will change that fact. With this in mind, it is to everyone’s advantage to discuss these types of details at as early a stage as possible.

After having this conversation if assistance in the home is a viable option, please feel free to call Connections In-Home Care any time to set up a free in-home assessment.